As we approach yet another anniversary of the COVID pandemic, I've been thinking a lot about grief. Often when we think of grief we think of losing a loved one, or maybe you think about the popular concept of "the five stages of grief." While no grief is ever easy, pandemic grief feels especially complex.
Pandemic grief is layered and multifaceted. It's not just one loss, but many different losses both big and small. We are grieving people, places, experiences, opportunities, hobbies, careers, passions, and even our own identities. There is grief for the past, for people that are no longer part of our lives, for milestones we couldn't celebrate, for events we had to skip, for opportunities we had to pass up on, and for places that were no longer safe to go. There is grief for the present, for limited opportunities to connect with likeminded people, for the shaming and dismissive attitudes of loved ones and medical professionals, for professional opportunities that are inaccessible, or feeling like you aren't where you imagined you'd be at this point in your life. There is grief for the uncertainty of the future, for not knowing if or when we might be able to safely access medical care, share a meal with loved ones, travel, find a partner, start a family, and many more.
One of the hardest parts of pandemic grief, and pandemic trauma, is that it is ongoing. This is not a distinct event from the past that we can integrate and move on from. It's hard to heal in an environment that continues to traumatize us. If you're struggling with pandemic grief you're not alone. I see you, I hear you, I validate you, I'm sending warmth and compassion to you.
If you're looking for a community space to compassionately witness our pandemic grief, my wonderful colleague Liz Fitzgerald LCSW and I are facilitating an event on Tuesday March 25th at 5:15-6:45 PST. While Liz and I are both COVID conscious therapists, this is not a therapy group, so all are welcome to join regardless of your location. You can RSVP here through 3/21/25: bit.ly/COVIDwitnessing
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